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Healing October 25, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — paddedpup @ 11:38 pm

It’s been a hard few days. All thoughts somehow lead back to Sheila. I keep thinking about her and how she won’t be there when I get home. It’s a terrible, terrible feeling losing a pet. It feels like there’s a great big hole inside of me and it can’t be filled. No other dog will ever be able to fill this hole the way Sheila did, and no dog will ever be able to replace her. You can’t replace a dog-even if you get a new one when an old dog dies. I’ve been crying on and off, and I’ve been putting on a brave face, but inside I’m hurting. It feels good to cry. It helps to cry, and I’ve been told it’s healthy to cry, and I should if I need to. I will probably comes to terms with everything once I get home, and I will probably cry then too, but at least then I will be with my family.

I’m remembering everything I can about her. Her smile, her warmth, the way she’d wake me up in the morning, her kisses, everything. I’m placing them in a very special place in my heart. Part of her will always be with me, and I like to think that she will be watching over me. I’ve had a few dreams about her. I’ve seen her, and she is happy. In one dream I was even able to hug her. That gives me some comfort, and perhaps she is coming to me to say good-bye…

It’s the unconditional love I’m going to miss the most. I’ll miss the way she’d come into my room to say hello, or the way she’d greet us when we’d come home. That’s pure love right there. I think that you’ve never experienced real love, until you’ve experienced the love you can receive from a dog. They don’t judge you if you’re black, white, fat, thin, tall, short. They love from the start and only judge when you do them wrong. People who say that animals don’t go to heaven are wrong. How could they not? They are the only creatures on earth who LOVE without judging first.

Some people just don’t understand. They clearly haven’t had a dog before, or experienced the unconditional love of a dog before. All a dog asks for is a place to give them shelter, food, water, a warm bed, and a pat on the head. In return, they give us unconditional love and become our best friends and confidants. Some people will say “It’s just a dog” NO! It’s not just a dog. Dogs become a part of our family, and we as owners have the right to mourn their loss.

Healing is a slow process, and right now I wish I was home. This is only part of my healing…it will take time, and it will get easier, once I am with my family and friends.

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Tribute to Sheila October 21, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — paddedpup @ 8:15 pm

I’m hoping that making this helps me heal. It feels like I’ve cried all the tears I’ve can, but I’m sure there will be more at some point. None of this seems real, but instead it feels like a bad dream that I can’t wake up from. I still can believe that she’s gone…that I will never see her again. It doesn’t seem right or fair that it happened this way. I talked to one of the girls at the programs office today, and she told me that she lost one of her dogs in July…and that she understood where I was coming from, and how hard it is to heal. She said I may only fully accept it once I get home…and that may be true. I got a Grievance ER today, so I could have more time to heal. My Coordinator was real understanding…and said he wished dogs could live forever. Several cast members gave me their condolences, and said if I needed anything I could come to them. So here it is…my tribute to Sheila…

She was such a sweet dog…with a loud bark and a big heart. The only creatures that had to fear her were squirrels, skinks,blue tongues, and bunnies. She’d make her spot anywhere she pleased, and wouldn’t move until she was good and ready. She loved to be around her people, and would always greet us with a smile and a lick. I’m going to miss that smile…not many dogs can smile, but I always felt that her smile showed true love.

When we took her and her brother to the mountains they didn’t like it as much as we thought they would. The only place for Sheila was the house on a couch, bed, or in the sun.

Sheila…my sweet, sweet girl…may you rest in peace and run wild and free at Rainbow Bridge. You can meet Rosie, and play with her, as well as Maggie and Buddy. Run through the grass, and chase all the rabbits, squirrels, and skinks you want…maybe you’ll catch one. Wait for us there, and one day we will all be together again. Sheila…this is for you:

My sweet, sweet girl you’ve passed on

It’s hard to believe you are actually gone.

It seemed that you left before your time

You might even say you were in your prime.

No longer will I hear your welcoming bark

Or have to try and find you out in the dark.

I will no longer feel your warmness at my feet

And I won’t have to worry about you begging to eat.

When you left my girl, a part of me left too

I will spend everyday thinking of you.

My sweet girl, you were a true friend

And within time, my wounds will mend.

Run free my girl, and may you feel no pain

You will no longer have to worry about the rain.

May the sun shine everyday

and may you lay in the rays.

I love you Sheila, with all my heart and I always will

You have a place in my heart and there you will always stay.

Be a good girl up there Sheila, and make sure you behave. I’m sure Rosie will be happy to show you around. May you have never ending treats, and enormous denta sticks. Love, Love, Love to you Goosa….

 

My Disney Birthday October 17, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — paddedpup @ 12:45 am

So I had a post that I thought I saved, but apparently it poofed into nothingness, which means I have to type it again. So I am now a quarter of a century, half of fifty. In other words….OLD. It’s kinda scary…but anyways, having your birthday at Disney World is quite fun. You can wear a birthday pin, and then everyone around you wishes you a happy birthday! My friends happened to be working on my birthday, so we celebrated a few days early…had lots of fun…

But anyways, last week I did Give Kids the World again, and this time I was with a little girl named Beth who was 4 1/2. She was so cute and so sweet…I try not to think about the fact that these kids are sick, and that they might not make it past their 10th birthday. It breaks my heart…

But onto something happier. Next week starts my holiday discount! 40% of merchandise, and other discounts are coming my way! It’s time to go Christmas shopping! Things will go quite quickly now, so I better get the stuff while I still can! 40% such a nice discount… 🙂

It’s starting to get chilly here…I gotta get a pair of white gloves for work. Knowing me, I will get cold hands! Not much else happening here…Halloween is on its way, and we’re wondering if people are going to trick or treat here around the complexes…we’ve debated having candy just in case…