It’s been a hard few days. All thoughts somehow lead back to Sheila. I keep thinking about her and how she won’t be there when I get home. It’s a terrible, terrible feeling losing a pet. It feels like there’s a great big hole inside of me and it can’t be filled. No other dog will ever be able to fill this hole the way Sheila did, and no dog will ever be able to replace her. You can’t replace a dog-even if you get a new one when an old dog dies. I’ve been crying on and off, and I’ve been putting on a brave face, but inside I’m hurting. It feels good to cry. It helps to cry, and I’ve been told it’s healthy to cry, and I should if I need to. I will probably comes to terms with everything once I get home, and I will probably cry then too, but at least then I will be with my family.
I’m remembering everything I can about her. Her smile, her warmth, the way she’d wake me up in the morning, her kisses, everything. I’m placing them in a very special place in my heart. Part of her will always be with me, and I like to think that she will be watching over me. I’ve had a few dreams about her. I’ve seen her, and she is happy. In one dream I was even able to hug her. That gives me some comfort, and perhaps she is coming to me to say good-bye…
It’s the unconditional love I’m going to miss the most. I’ll miss the way she’d come into my room to say hello, or the way she’d greet us when we’d come home. That’s pure love right there. I think that you’ve never experienced real love, until you’ve experienced the love you can receive from a dog. They don’t judge you if you’re black, white, fat, thin, tall, short. They love from the start and only judge when you do them wrong. People who say that animals don’t go to heaven are wrong. How could they not? They are the only creatures on earth who LOVE without judging first.
Some people just don’t understand. They clearly haven’t had a dog before, or experienced the unconditional love of a dog before. All a dog asks for is a place to give them shelter, food, water, a warm bed, and a pat on the head. In return, they give us unconditional love and become our best friends and confidants. Some people will say “It’s just a dog” NO! It’s not just a dog. Dogs become a part of our family, and we as owners have the right to mourn their loss.
Healing is a slow process, and right now I wish I was home. This is only part of my healing…it will take time, and it will get easier, once I am with my family and friends.